he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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