what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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