This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
