Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
