You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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