tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
