Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize