You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
