I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
A+ Viking dick
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