so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
