When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
