I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
