We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
