I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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