Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
