Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
