Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize