The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize