I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
