Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
