How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
