I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
