Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
