I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
