1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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