I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm both gender and math confused
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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