I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We left an ass print on the piano.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
