What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
