First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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