Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
