there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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