It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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