Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
