...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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