I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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