wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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