One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
