Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
