I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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