I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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