1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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