so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
