he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
