Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
