Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
