bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
