This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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