So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize