Umm I'm too high to move.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
