She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
