I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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