Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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