Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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