Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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