...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
