the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
