I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
