Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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