....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
