Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
