Don't you send me to vm
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
