my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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