ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
