It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
