We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
