worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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