I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sorry about my life...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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