if only i could text you this smell
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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