We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize