Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
