Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
