I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
